The Blog

Everything we've managed to type before sunrise

A dark hallway wall in a Chicago apartment at 3 AM
🐾 Cosmo Cosmo's Investigations

Something in the Walls

I need to tell you about the walls. Scratching sounds, inside the wall, multiple nights in a row, at 2 AM. I'm not overreacting. I have four theories and I am building a case.

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A mysterious red laser dot on a white wall
🐾 Cosmo Cosmo's Investigations

The Red Dot: A Conspiracy

Okay. I need to talk about the red dot. I have caught it exactly ZERO times. This is not a skill issue. I have three theories. The most recent one involves Dad.

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Gerald Neckring on a Chicago rooftop chimney at dawn
🐾 Gigi The Pigeon Chronicles

The Pigeons: A Behavioral Analysis

Day 287. Chicago. 06:14. Gerald is on the Kowalski building again. Third chimney. Left side. Facing west. He is always facing west at 06:14. The code exists. I have not cracked it yet.

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An early morning kitchen with north light coming through the window
🐾 Gigi Cat Rants

The Breakfast Negotiation: A Field Manual

January. Chicago. 06:51. The breakfast situation in this apartment is a negotiation. Dad does not experience it as a negotiation. His version is incomplete.

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A dark apartment hallway at 3 AM
🐾 Cosmo Cosmo's Investigations

The 3 AM Zoomies: A Protocol

The zoomies are not a malfunction. The zoomies are a protocol. Specific conditions, an optimized route, and one particular tortoiseshell cat who will never admit she does them too.

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Two pigeons on a Chicago rooftop at dusk
🐾 Gigi The Pigeon Chronicles

The Pigeons: An Origin Story

January. Chicago. 2:47 AM. I am at my post. It started last spring, when two pigeons made the worst decision of their small, seed-addled lives...

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